Friends, aquaintences, and family...

So, I begin by declaring people are bullshit! (As a whole, not individualy) I say this because from my experience, the majority of the people that have come into my life have immensely disappointed me, one way or another. Maybe I'm tripping, maybe I expect too much from other people. I tend to hold people to the same standards I hold myself to sometimes, and I know I shouldn't. But I feel like after a certain relationship is developed between two people, certain things should be honored.

Example (and inspiration for this post), someone I work with, who I thought was a friend, and turned out to be just an acquaintance, showed me he was only an acquaintance and why. It bothered me because I just knew we were cooler than that, but whats worse is, he had explicitly told me that he would look out for me in tonights given situation. And not only did he not do any of the things I asked him before he left, he left early. Meanwhile, a dude that may just be new family, comes back to help me off the clock. Now, I honestly just realized that the acquaintance is white and the latter black. Not sure that has any relavence, but anyway I digress.

I am a people person in many ways. But because people as a whole are so repulsive its hard for a person like me to move freely amongst them. Its become apparent to me that I have to cleatly distinguish between atleast 3 different circles when dealing with people. Aquaintences, friends, and family. Acquaintances get the fasad, the image. They are almost technicalities. Until they show different, they will remain at arms legnth, never to be touched. I will always be the person I am. If I'm going to help I am,I shant look for my actions to convince them, it should be free will, that way its pure as possible. Aquaintences get 0 time and the least effort possible.

Friends are aquaintences that have grown from an aquaintence, by "proving" themselves so to speak. A friend cares on a personal level. One may offer a favor with no repayment expected, or give a hand when no one has asked. Friends are dependable, honest, and real. These are qualities not found between acquaintances, because their relationship doesnt grow past formalities. While true friends can skip the formalities.

Family is the pinnacle of a relationship between two people. I dont have many friends, too many aquaintences, and a slowly growing family. Family goes beyond blood. I am closer to much of my extended family than I am to a lot of my blood. And there's a number of reasons I think that is the case. But for me once I induct you into my family, that's it. I may not see you for another 20 years, but.I will still honor the bond we established.

One of my problems is that I aim to see the good in everyone, and I find it,even when its not there sometimes. I have to understand while everyone is put into your life for a reason, most peoples purpose is short term. Again that's hard for me because of how I attatch myself to people I care about. I have to know a persons role and status and attach myself accordingly.